Becoming a widow or widower can often be one of the worst times in one’s life. It makes no real difference as the specifics in which lead up to this situation such as your spouse being ill, for example. I mean let’s face it you’ve lost your partner in crime, your cherished companion, your snuggle bunny, knight in shining armour, or baby.
So many things have changed since that day and you have been on a roller coaster of feelings and emotions while becoming accustomed to the new way of life, of that I am pretty certain as it is much the same situation and path that everyone in your shoes has had to travel. All those that have been there before you can understand and feel your pain. Those that have not, however, simply have no clue, I’m mean how could they unless they physically have to endure all that you’ve endured.
Widow Widower Dating Tips and Helpful Guideline For Returning To The Dating Scene
We have spoken to others’ that have been right where you are to create a listing of tips to make it go just a little bit better.
Only You Know How You Feel
You have had your share of grieving, sadness, and being alone. You feel as if you are ready to rejoin the land of the living and you want nothing more than someone in which to feel close to once again. Great. Then it is time, time to date once again. Don’t worry about what the others’ have to say or how they feel, you can’t, for only you can decide what you feel inside. It has been a while since you previously dated, and never before as a widow or widower.
There Is No Time Line
I presume that no one has given you the grief timeline or even allowed you to take a peek. Right? That is very simply as there is no time line. Everyone deals with grief in different ways, for different lengths of time, and on various levels. The one aspect in which everyone enters and must process are the five stages of grief. Those five are denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and finally acceptance.
Expect There To Be Some Guilt Yet Creep
At some point there is bound to be some grief yet creep into the first few dates or so. Planning on this and knowing it is to come might make it all so much easier on you. It may come on well before first outing or date. Then again it might very well wait and hit as you are getting ready, or even once you pick her up. As long as that grief has lightened or begins to go away it is nothing to worry about any further. However, if it does not or it worsens you might want to rethink the timing of everything and give it a bit longer before trying to date again.
It Is Important That She/He Is Aware
Your spouse is going to come up in conversation at some point when communicating with the person you have decided to take out on a date. There are a number of reasons for this such as for when the spouses name automatically slips out when talking, in case the above grief were to hit, or simply as a means of allowing them to better get to you as a whole.
Your Date Is Not A Therapist
While it is okay and important for the person you are to date to be aware of the missing partner is is just as important that you remember they are not your therapist. Be careful to speak of other things and of course about the person that is right there with you.
Trial Run Might Be Required
Do not be alarmed if things are difficult on the first date or two. It very well might require you to have a trial run or two in order to once again get the hang of the dating scene. Think of it as you no doubt had to the first month or so following when you became a widow or widower.